Thursday, June 14, 2018

June 9, 2018

It’s my mom’s birthday and I feel like crap. My head feels like it’s gonna explode!! I don’t know what is going on with me. My arms are killing me and my bones. My mom is going to make fish tacos so I should stop stalling and shower and get things ready for tonight. Let’s hope my head doesn’t blow…

Day 9: a song you can dance to

( I don’t dance)

So moms dinner went good except for the crying baby and my head almost exploding. Patty and the bestie came over with my babies and the tubby got his face smashed into the cake. I think it was the highlight of my day. Church tomorrow and I gotta see if my mom could drop me off early. I should go to bed as soon as these kids leave. I need the rest.

June 8, 2018

So one kid shows up at 6am and I couldn’t wake up so my mom had to greet him and let him into the house. At about 8am is when I woke up and waited for my babies to show up since I was watching them today and not their usual sitter. Also, in a couple of hours the other two will arrive. I am looking at a full day with kids. We’ll see how today goes. I think we’re going to church later but not sure.

30 Day Song Challenge

Day 8: A song that you know all the words to

Perro Viejo by Juanes

So, all but two kids have left. I was not able to go to church because my babies were picked up late and I was not gonna make it on time for anything. I haven’t cried today which I count as a victory at least in this last week. I honestly do not know why I feel like this. At this point I know it isn’t about that lady. I don’t know why I’m depressed. I guess I should be happy that I haven’t had any thoughts about just being dead. I still can’t help but feel weird. I hope it goes away soon but luckily I can always turn to my first love which is music.

June 7, 2018

10 AM

Currently I have to get ready for knott’s and for some reason I am not feeling so well. I will prolly take an ibuprofen and see how I do. I have my ear buds packed and some other stuff that I know I will need.  I only hope that the kids are not in a bad mood and that it isn’t too hot because I will die!! Well gtg see you at 10PM

30 Day Song Challenge

Day 7:  A song that reminds you of an event

Bendecido by Juanes

So we made it home kinda late and after trying to relax a bit I decided to write. I should be asleep because I’ll have 5 kids tomorrow and I know that I will be tired!! So today wasn’t as bad. The only kid that was having tantrums was Emanuel because he didn’t want to wait in line. The baby was fussy too but she’s a baby so it is expected. I’m tired and hopefully I don’t die tomorrow. I still feel kinda poopy. It doesn’t seem to go away.

Monday, June 11, 2018

June 6, 2018


So i've been chillin for most of the day with nothing to do. I bought the tickets for Knott's tomorrow. I have almost everything ready for tomorrow. Luckily I don't inject tomorrow so I don't have to take any medication. We are leaving after prayer so I know it'll be hot.

30 Day Song Challenge

Day 6: A song that reminds you of somewhere

Moves like Jagger by Maroon 5


Not much happened. I stayed home all day and did nothing except cook dinner and hang out by myself. I lied!! I did an inventory of all my stuff for my etsy store which I need to put up!! I hope to do it soon. just gonna rest for tomorrow!!!

Neuro time!!! June 5, 2018


Currently on my way to my Neurology appointment with Lynsey!! Lynsey is the one who gave me my MS diagnosis, I may write about that on here eventually just to give an update on life, since she's the MS specialist I get to see her again this year just for an update. We'll see how my brain is doing. excited and nervous about this appointment since she'll have my MRI results.

30 Day Song Challenge

Day 5: A song that reminds you of someone

My Lighthouse by Rend Collective


Well after neuro we went to eat at Emanuel's house and planned out to go to Knott's on Thursday instead. I went to church and today's lesson without planning was about being attacked by people but being sure of who you are and that God also knows you. I definitely believe that God has been talking to me lately. My brain is ok. My lesions seem to be getting smaller which is good. Yay!!

June 4, 2018


Since I haven't been feeling all that great I missed when Abel showed up. I still feel sluggish but I know that I need to get over it. Imma have my coffee and just try not to think of anything. I want to clear my mind.

30 Day Song Challenge

Day 4: A song that makes you sad

Some spanish song always made me cry I don't know the name tho.


Pretty chill day, kinda! Planning a trip to Knotts for Wednesday! Hopefully it's fun but if not I'm taking headphones to block people out. I'm really not a people person but no one seems to understand that. Still bummed but hoping it gets better. Neuro tomorrow!!!

June, 3, 2018


Currently in sunday school class not feeling so poopy but still poopy enough to be uncomfortable. I may continue to write later as my time here continues. I can say that so far two people have said exactly what my momma has told me all yesterday. is it a coincidence that we are talking about emotions today in class?

30 Day Song Challenge

Day 3: Song that makes you happy

Novocaine by Fall Out Boy


I talked to pastor after service and we both cried. He basically confirmed what others have said "to retain what God had for me and push aside what isn't for me." I feel better but I'm still hurt and embarrassed but slightly better. still sad but i can smile now. Neuro in the week!!!

Sunday, June 10, 2018

June 2, 2018

I woke up still feeling like poop. I woke up crying about last night. I know I need to talk to pastor about what happened. I've never cursed anyone so I don't know where that came from.

Eating: nada
Drinking: nada
Watching: Coco
Listening: Coco
Reading: nada

Day 2: least favorite song

Anything norteño or banda or mariachi

I talked to mom about Friday some more and I still feel bad but not as bad. Pastor may give me a ride to church tomorrow so we'll see how that goes.


Wednesday, June 6, 2018

June 1, 2018

Lately I have been depressed. i know it started a few days ago and it has gotten worse. At times I don't want to live. I'm not suicidal it's just that if I didn't wake up it wouldn't be a bad thing. I think I need to see Eric again.
eating: nothing
drinking: cold coffee
watching: nothing
listening to: Juanes
reading: nothing

DAY 1: Your favorite song

Kill You or The Way I Am - Eminem!!!
So I don't know what to say. I went to church tonight only to be prayed for and be told by a lady that i have cursed people AND made me feel like I have a demon inside. i don't just feel sad and depressed but nowI'm hurt and embarrassed. she didn't say those things in my ear on that personal level but into the microphone so everyone could hear. I think I will cry myself to sleep.

I am back!!!

Okay, so for thelongest time I have wanted to turn this blog into a blog about my life and I really think that now is that time. So from now on every entry that goes into this blog will be my journal entries from everything going on in my life (all the highs and the lows). Yes, you will read everything I vent out!

Now to begin the transferring of my journal entries!!!!